Pollution is an unwelcome concentration of substances that are beyond the environment’s capacity to handle. These substances are detrimental to people and other living things. North Americans throw away 2.5 million plastic bottles every hour.
Ok, so I’m not going to talk about pollution because I don’t want to make you fall asleep on a Friday. However, every thousand years or so a divine being, whether it be God, Allah, Buddha, or The Fonz, delivers something so incredible that you just have to stop and appreciate it. Today I would like to discuss Miss Teen USA.
“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”
What.
The.
Fuck.
Seriously . . .
I’m just leaving it at that. What I enjoyed even more was the fact that she re-answered the question later on the Today Show, as if it would cover-up what she said. And even with a few days to think about it, this is what she came up with:
“Personally, my friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on a map. I don’t know anyone else who doesn’t. If the statistics are correct, I believe there should be more emphasis on geography in our education so people will learn how to read maps better.”
But what about “the Iraq?!” I’m sorry to break the news to you, but you don’t get a second chance, just ask OJ (oh wait, he got off). First off, she’s bragging about knowing where the US is on the map. It’s times like these that I wish I worked at that sticker factory I mentioned earlier so I could give her a gold star. Hooray for you! And to think her high school actually let her graduate. Secondly, I think it’s a little pompous that she’s not only bragging that she knows where it is, but also that she’s putting kids down that don’t, making them feel like outsiders or outcasts. Poor little Pablo may not have enough money to afford a map or a proper education, but he has such a big heart and the desire to learn; it’s not his fault poor socioeconomic conditions limit his capabilities. I’m Sally Struthers, and for just $1 a month you can help Pablo get that map he’s always wanted. Nice example you’re setting Miss Teen USA third runner-up. Not only are you dumb, but you’re an elitist as well. I’m so disappointed in you . . .
Song of the Week: “Trouble’s Gonna Stay Awhile” by The Deadly Snakes. Not many bands can rock a piano.
Quote of the Week: “Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.” - Sen. Mary Anne Tebedo
Random Fact of the Week: No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven times. (I wish I had a statistic for the percent of you that will try it. Tally 1 for me)
Picture of the Week: Smartass
Until next week, when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore.
Fred
Ok, so I’m not going to talk about pollution because I don’t want to make you fall asleep on a Friday. However, every thousand years or so a divine being, whether it be God, Allah, Buddha, or The Fonz, delivers something so incredible that you just have to stop and appreciate it. Today I would like to discuss Miss Teen USA.
“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”
What.
The.
Fuck.
Seriously . . .
I’m just leaving it at that. What I enjoyed even more was the fact that she re-answered the question later on the Today Show, as if it would cover-up what she said. And even with a few days to think about it, this is what she came up with:
“Personally, my friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on a map. I don’t know anyone else who doesn’t. If the statistics are correct, I believe there should be more emphasis on geography in our education so people will learn how to read maps better.”
But what about “the Iraq?!” I’m sorry to break the news to you, but you don’t get a second chance, just ask OJ (oh wait, he got off). First off, she’s bragging about knowing where the US is on the map. It’s times like these that I wish I worked at that sticker factory I mentioned earlier so I could give her a gold star. Hooray for you! And to think her high school actually let her graduate. Secondly, I think it’s a little pompous that she’s not only bragging that she knows where it is, but also that she’s putting kids down that don’t, making them feel like outsiders or outcasts. Poor little Pablo may not have enough money to afford a map or a proper education, but he has such a big heart and the desire to learn; it’s not his fault poor socioeconomic conditions limit his capabilities. I’m Sally Struthers, and for just $1 a month you can help Pablo get that map he’s always wanted. Nice example you’re setting Miss Teen USA third runner-up. Not only are you dumb, but you’re an elitist as well. I’m so disappointed in you . . .
Song of the Week: “Trouble’s Gonna Stay Awhile” by The Deadly Snakes. Not many bands can rock a piano.
Quote of the Week: “Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.” - Sen. Mary Anne Tebedo
Random Fact of the Week: No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven times. (I wish I had a statistic for the percent of you that will try it. Tally 1 for me)
Picture of the Week: Smartass
Until next week, when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore.
Fred
1 comment:
i work at a pretty heady bar in boulder right now. 2 people had the nerve to come in last week and DEMAND that we buy the entire bar a round on the house to toast the colorado contestant who won miss teen usa... we told them to f off.
Post a Comment