Friday, July 27, 2007

July 27, 2007 Made in China

What’s the first thing that pops into your head when you see the phrase “Made in China?” Probably cheap, not reliable, might have cat products in it, etc. But what about deadly? In a recent CNN article, China has been nicknamed the “Wild West” due to its poor regulatory system, which has allowed exports that have caused many health-related issues recently.

In a very informative elaborate interview, a senior product safety counsel with the U.S. Consumers Union, the publisher of Consumer Reports magazine made sure we understood the severity of the situation. “Anything that does not meet our standards should not be allowed to be imported.” Oh man, I can breathe easy now. But, just to reiterate: “Anything that does not meet our standards should not be allowed to be imported.” I just kind of assumed that was an unspoken rule, but hey, what do I know. A business professor at the University of Maryland and former chief economist at the U.S. International Trade Commission, said, “They're basically producing poisonous products, selling them to their own people and then selling them on to us.” Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa . . . whoa. Accusing China of trying to poison us? Blasphemy! Has he eaten Chinese take-out in the past decade? Utterly delectable (though it just makes you feel gross and you’re hungry again an hour later). They might be trying to poison poor Panamanians, or some cats and dogs here and there, but to accuse them of trying to kill off the planet? This is worse than those pesky Nationalist Socialists in the 1930’s and ‘40s.

“40 percent of all consumer products imported into the United States last year (almost $250 billion worth of goods) were manufactured in China. From 1997 to 2004, the share of all U.S. imports of consumer products from China increased by nearly 300 percent.” They’d be stupid NOT to try and poison us or kill off the youth of America with faulty Skip-Its or Snap Bracelets. But, just to make sure the Chinese have their say, “Beijing stands by its products and says people should not be worried about ‘Made in China’ goods.” Uh, 10 years too late buster. “Consumers shouldn't be scared of Chinese products. They should have a reputation of being good quality, cheap and safe,” said a spokesman for the foreign ministry. He certainly got the cheap part right. But all is well in the world of imports. I’m not worried about any South Beach Diets or Atkins Diets; I’m riding on my new Fear-Free diet. I’m certainly not scared about eating products from pigs fattened on force-fed wastewater, dairy cows given so many antibiotics they can't produce yogurt from their milk and lard made from sewage. And it’s probably propaganda that a Chinese government report earlier this month found that 20 percent of food and products for domestic consumption failed inspection. 20%!


Song of the Week: “Leaving Babylon” by 311. Definitely the epitome of “chill.”

Quote of the Week: “Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.” - John Lehman (former US secretary of the Navy)

Random Fact of the Week: Diet Coke was only invented in 1982.

Picture of the Week: Most likely the case

Until next week, I say stop when touching bothers me.


Fred

Friday, July 20, 2007

July 20, 2007 Why People Hate America: Pt. 3

Coming into today I had no idea what I was going to mickey mouse together and loosely call an article. However, after an early morning conversation with an intern (from out of the country, which plays an important factor in the context) I’ve reaffirmed my belief that America is just plain and simple fat.

Intern was talking about first impressions of America. The FIRST impression Intern had was that America is fat. Not that the people try to be nice, not that it’s a very modern country that emphasizes hard work, not that we offer outstanding job opportunities, some of the best colleges and medical facilities. It’s that we’re fat. I’m not talking “I’m trying to lose a few pounds so I’ll look good in my bathing suit” fat. I’m talking about the 300+ lbs fat. Anyone else upset by that? “It’s not just that people are fat, but it’s that I’ve seen fat in places on people I’ve never even seen before. There are so many obese people.” Hold on Intern, let me just wash the vomit out of my mouth. Also, another appropriate observation was that half the time Intern would see fat people, they’d be walking around eating McDonald’s assembly line mutations or drinking a coke (maybe they were saving it for an emergency in which they would need to use it as a substitute for engine oil. Refer to the 4/13/07 post).

Granted some people can argue that it’s genetic. Sure, for some that’s true; I’ll give you a break and let you take all the time you need on the SATs as well. I’m going to go ahead and write you out a prescription for Accountability. Everyone wants to point the finger at someone else. “I’m fat because mommy and daddy did it to me.” All because of mommy and daddy? I’ll make sure to go slap them on the wrist and lock them up for child abuse, but give me a break, take some responsibility and ownership of your actions. I think it is sad to see kids that are fat, because in most cases, it is genetic or it is the fault of the parents. But how long can you continue to use that excuse; what's the cut-off, when you're a legal adult at 18? The more you tell people that, the more you start to honestly believe it yourself. If you know you’re going to face that issue, start doing something to prevent it, don’t rack up frequent flyer miles at McDonald’s. Not to be overly critical or people, but this is the first impression people are getting of America. Is that really what we want it to be?


Song of the Week: “Rest My Chemistry” by Interpol

Quote of the Week: “There’s no me in team.” – Lauren Lawlor

Random Fact of the Week: The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after Grover Cleveland's baby daughter, Ruth.

Picture of the Week: Best add ever



Until next week, fat bottom girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round.


Fred

Friday, July 13, 2007

July 13, 2007 A Picture's Worth 1000 Words

Ok, so maybe it won’t be 1000 words, but enjoy it nonetheless:




I wonder what is going through the cops’ heads at that moment; they have the biggest grins on their faces. It could also be some sort of rookie cop hazing. The two on the left look intimidating with their big black uniforms on, while the sorry knucklehead writing the ticket has his nice little hat on, a pressed mall security shirt, and that big “come kick me in the ass” orange reflective gear. And he’s the one writing the ticket too.

He must be having a field day though; how do you not burst out laughing during an incident like that. “I’m sorry sir/ma’am; I’m writing you up for eating too many paint chips as a child.” What about the person IN the car? “I’m sorry officer, the captain of my brain ship was drunk behind the wheel again, but don’t worry, I practice abstinence.”

A few other questions to ponder as well:
What’s with all the random tractor trailers and dump trucks around?
Why is the pickup stopped on the yellow line?
Is that cop taking pictures/video?
Sometimes the world just doesn’t make sense.


Song of the Week: “Phoenix in Flight” by Converge

Quote of the Week: “Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a while.” - Charles Barkley after blatantly elbowing an Angolan basketball opponent in the Olympics

Random Fact of the Week: Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Picture of the Week: See above

Until next week, don’t eat paint chips.


Fred

Friday, July 6, 2007

July 6, 2007 Girls? Confusing? Nah

An old adage states: “Girls are more attracted to and want to date assholes.” I’ve half-heartedly believed that statement through the years; last night was a complete confirmation of that assessment.

It was humid and overcast that fateful July night in the summer of 2007, the streets bustled with commotion as pedestrians dodged overzealous automobiles. Workers went about their daily routine as dusk approached, setting stage for another unpredictable evening in the dynamic streets of the city. A fresh breeze swept through steel giants as it cooled the faces of the dawdling citizens. As Fred and the Mt. Hood Boys approached the restaurant, uncertainty emerged as unfamiliar faces were greeted with similarly unfamiliar smiles.

Alright, that’s too much effort. Basically I went out to dinner for a friend of a friend’s birthday. Upon doing so, I was introduced to an unfamiliar person of the female persuasion; we’ll call her Stranger Girl. Five minutes or so into the dinner (while sitting next to said female) another friend came in and sandwiched me between Stranger Girl and herself. While the two immediately jumped into personal conversation, I continued to space off and wonder why the Wonder Years was ever cancelled, and how the hell hair bands lasted as long as they did. After falling face first back down to earth, I looked at both girls and volunteered to move so they could talk without damaging the hearing in both of my ears. They felt bad, but agreed. After which, Stranger Girl asked if she was being annoying by talking through me. My response: “Yeah you were, but it’s ok, you only get one chance to make a first impression . . . so much for that one.” Now, I realize I can be pretty dry, and sometimes strangers might not catch onto my sarcasm. However, even I thought that my retort to her statement was pretty dick-like. So the dinner continued, and since I already assumed I had pigeon-holed her impression of me, I kept rolling with it. Fast forward a few hours and a rainy softball game. Another close friend, Anonymous Girl, came up to me and showed me a text message that Stranger Girl had sent her. It read as follows: “I had a great time at dinner, it was good to see everyone . . . Also, Fred was pretty cute, work your magic for me.” (I think she was thinking of someone else).

I can honestly say, the only thing I did was act extremely sarcastic/borderline jerky throughout the entire dinner. Girls=Rosetta_Stone.

Moral of the story: Although Ivy is a fine dining establishment with delectable tapas plates, for the money you pay there are better Tapas restaurants in Boston.

Song of the Week: “Like Eating Glass” by Bloc Party. Brit Rock!

Quote of the Week: “A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.” - George W. Bush

Random Fact of the Week: The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.

Picture of the Week: Good to know, room for two please.


Until next week, danger Will Robinson!


Fred