May 18, 2007 Friend of Friends

I don't know about most of you, but I know one thing I definitely CANNOT do is talk to people I don't know at a bar. Every introduction and first impression has the possibility of turning out awkward, and when you yourself are already awkward . . . well that's a recipe for a quick one minute conversation ending with an painful "nice meeting you," (some variations may occur). Either way, one great way to save face in these situations is: The friend of a friend!

Whether at a house party or even meeting at a bar, meeting friends of friends is basically taking the bunny slope at any mountain in order to get warmed up/take the easy way out. From the beginning you have some sort of base of legitimacy (assuming your friend actually said nice things about you before hand, otherwise, it might be time for a friend audit) and there is an immediate conversation starter: "So how long have you known Lateesha?" "How do you know Jamal?" or "Have you seen the mole on Fred's ass?" BOOM, instant ice breaker. Granted some ice breakers work better, like asking which Pokémon® character is her favorite, but for those of us with the nervous sweats or minimal wit, sticking to the basics goes a long way. This way you don't seem like every other choad at a bar trying to pick up anything with a vagina. Also, even if you do screw up, you can always have your friend drop a little comment the next day like, "Oh, he wasn't himself last night," or "He was on his period" (hey, if girls can use that excuse, why can't we?).

Moral of the story: Friends of friends = better chance = less strikeouts = less K's = bringing down the Ku Klux Klan = Forrest Gump was an AWESOME movie.

Song of the Week: "Cataract" by Sparta.

Quote of the Week: " Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that." - Anonymous

Random Fact of the Week: There are more creatures in your mouth than there are humans on earth . . . think about that one the next time you decide to make out with a stranger.

Picture of the Week:

Until next week, keep on rockin in the free world,

Fred