September 7, 2007 Chivalry is Dead

There’s been a longstanding complaint by women that chivalry is dead, that guys have lost that “polite edge” that it takes to be a gentleman. Well you know what killed it? Feminism. All these strong independent women out there ruined it for you. Even though they make up roughly 5% of the actual female populous in America, they managed to ruin it for the other 95% of women that actually enjoy having men stand up on buses for them, hold doors open, and pay for dinners at restaurants. Let’s take a quick look back through history when minorities oppressed large majorities. I bet Nelson Mandela could throw in his two cents. I think it might be time for the silent majority of women to stand up and call out this group of outspoken rage-oholics.

I say chivalry is not dead; I think men are just confused. Do you want me to hold the door open for you out of general courtesy, or should I respect your almighty strength and admire your womanly roar. I don’t know, what SHOULD I do? Obviously Mel Gibson knows what women want, but I don’t. Could be roses, could be a hammer so you can break through that scenic glass ceiling of yours. Listen, if you want to be independent, I’ll GLADLY let you pay for your $40 entree. Just tell me. I’ll respect your wishes. All you need to do is communicate. No more of this sitting on the fence business, it’s leaving a weird indent in your butt, and yes, those jeans do make it look big, but please don’t castrate me.

Just like Bob Marley said: “Smoke two joints in the morning, smoke two joints at night.” Wait no, wrong anthem.
Take two: “Get up, stand up. Stand up for your rights!”

Song of the Week: “Something Worth Saving” by Tiger Bear Wolf.

Quote of the Week: “There’s no use in being a pessimist, it wouldn’t work anyway.” - Anonymous

Random Fact of the Week: George W. Bush is the first u.s. president to declare himself exempt from over 750 U.S. laws, sidestepping most of the bill of rights including the constitutional requirement that the president follow all laws. Yes, they mentioned it specifically to suppress tyranny

Picture of the Week: Probably the coolest ad ever

Until next week, take a bite out of crime.


Fred