September 14, 2007 What is the World Coming To?

This story has a couple different points I could tackle, so I made sure to steal a little Ritalin before writing it to prevent some ADD. In case you haven’t heard, a little 9 year-old girl wrote a note to a classmate saying she was going to kill her over a bag of chips and a zebra cake. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of Suzie Q’s, Ding-Dongs, Ho-Hos, and other assorted Hostess® brand products, but seven and a half times out of ten I wouldn’t threaten a life over it. This is basically what the note read:
“I have a gun and first I'm going to shoot you in the shoulder, then you're going to shoot me back with a bazooka, but you're gonna miss and then I'm going to shoot you back and kill you...”
10-15 years ago, yeah, that could slide. But not now, not in the post-9/11 era. Everyone’s at threat level red (what the hell does this even mean?) I mean, come on, sure the girl’s a little wacky, but obviously this girl lost all legitimate threat potential when she said her counterpart would shoot her back with a bazooka, AFTER she first shoots her in the shoulder. Has everyone forgotten about the size of the bags they wore in 2nd and 3rd grade? You’d be lucky if you could fit your GI Joe lunchbox in them, let alone a bazooka. It’d be a little conspicuous for her to walk through the door of the classroom with it. “Suzie, what do you have there?” “Oh nothing Ms. Smith, it’s just my inhaler.”

But apparently this little girl writing “threatening notes” is suspended. And what did the mother of the note-recipient say about it? She’s pulling her daughter out of that school and transferring her to another. What the hell has this world come to? People can’t take a little adversity anymore. I think instead of pulling her daughter out of the class she should be a good role model and sit down for a little mother-daughter bonding time to draft a retort to the first note. Could go a little something like this: “But when you shoot me back, the bullet will bounce off of me because I have super-powers, and then I’ll get my cabbage patch doll army to come over to your house when you’re asleep and attack you!”

And the “officials” are trying to figure out how to punish the girl that wrote the note. I can give you a little help with that: have her parents smack her around the house a little, tell her never to do it again, and then send her on her merry way.

Moral of the story: Hit your kids, they’ll turn out better that way.


Song of the Week: “Arizona” by Kings of Leon.

Quote of the Week: “Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.” - John Barrymore

Random Fact of the Week: Flying from London to New York by Concord, due to the time zones crossed, you can arrive 2 hours before you leave.

Picture of the Week: Poor taste ABC . . .



Until next week, it’s alright, cuz I’m saved by the bell.


Fred