Whose bright idea was it to throw babies off a roof from 50 feet up? I have a hard time jumping into water from 50 feet up, but hucking a baby off a building onto a sheet . . . is probably the 2nd worst idea in the world. What’s #1?
There are so many questions to be answered. What if the cloth rips? What if the baby lands wrong and gets whiplash? Is there no such thing as shaken baby syndrome over there either? (Probably not, due to the lack of British Au Pairs). What if the Baby Hucker misses?! Do you think that guy gets ladies after the event is over? He’s basically like the baby hucking equivalent of a baseball pitcher, quarterback, emcee, or lead singer. I wonder if he goes on the road, or if he only hucks from that one roof. That’d be tough going to away games. The tower might be different, the pressure of opposing fans heckling you might get in his head. He might start over thinking each drop. I feel like there might be a couple miscues; I hope they have some baby cleanup crews handy.
And where do they take those babies? You see how fast they pick them up and just start passing them around person to person. It looks like a damn Baby Bazaar and any crazy person that wants a baby can just grab it and run. All I know is, I’m surprised there’s not more piss and crap all over the people below, because I sure as hell know I’d shit myself if some dude I didn’t know held me over the edge of a building and dropped me.
Song of the Week: “Dondante” by My Morning Jacket
Quote of the Week: “The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the "Four F's":
1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating." - Psychology professor in neurophysiology intro course.
Random Fact of the Week: Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
Picture of the Week: I've been wanting to say that for years
Until next week, Schlitz and Hot Dog night, next Thursday, May 15th. Inquire within.
Fred
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