October 26, 2007 Bad-Weather Friends

In a recent workplace discussion, something came to my attention. We all know the term “fair-weather,” usually in relation to sports fans, or even friends. Sometimes too much emphasis is placed on fair-weather friends, while it is not often pointed out that some friends are “bad-weather” friends. We all know someone like this; they come around only to complain about how bad their life is. It’s completely normal to want to vent every once in awhile, and I support that for sanity’s sake. We certainly don’t want any Miltons wandering around cracking and setting buildings on fire. But sometimes it’s taken completely advantage of. Hey knucklehead, your life isn’t that bad. Were you shot at today when you were at a local market buying your mom some bread? Nope. Did an earthquake completely destroy your home and everyone around yours? Negative. Did you get to drink water that wasn’t 50% fecal matter? Well your breath doesn’t stink so I’m guessing yes. I’m afraid to inform you that you managed to fail the “My Life Sucks” test. I’d even venture to throw them in with the “One-Uppers” and “Know-It-Alls” as people I tend to avoid.

So, as a general favor to the rest of society, the next time this person approaches you, just simply throw it out there: “Well bud, things could be worse, you could have strep.” If they insist that their life is horrible, whip out the big guns, “Think of it this way, at least you don’t have to walk down the street everyday wondering if the car you’re walking past will blow up.” If they’re a persistent bugger and blow past this roadblock, Plan C kicks into effect, “Yeah, when you put it that way, your life really does suck. But hey, I know a great gun store down the street that I can hook you up with so you can off yourself.” That’ll be sure to shut ‘em up.

Song of the Week: “Safety Brick” by Broken Social Scene. Probably as emo as I’ll ever care to get, but it’s one of those songs you find yourself whistling or humming all day. You can thank/hit me later.

Quote of the Week: “I think it's important to just go for it. The worst thing that can happen is that it doesn't work out - but what if it does.” - Lisa Rands

Random Fact of the Week: About 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens each year.

Picture of the Week: A random picture I saw online and couldn’t help but laugh at

Until next week, I’ve got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is giving the peace sign,


Fred